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Parto Puja, Dharmen e Tao

My water broke at 3.30am and i jumped out of bed and ran into the shower. I was worried because I saw some meconium in the water, but didn't feel any contractions yet. However, 10 minutes later, I felt some light cramps and pressure. The midwives talked to Dharmen and told him to get out things ready and leave, as my body was open and our baby was well postioned already. 30 minutes later we were in the car. I had a huge towel in between my legs as water kept gushing out with every step. On the way to the city, i kept track of my contractions, 50sec long and 2 minutes apart. They kept getting stronger and stronger. As we arrived at the hospital, they were strong enough for me to be unable to sit comfortably. I moved around constanty, feeling like I was going to split in half lenghtwise. There was so much pressure, my body removed everything and i got sick. Poor Dharmen had no idea that vomiting can happen in birth.

We had to wait for several hours to be admitted as the only doctor was busy performing a ceasarian. I kept racing from the bathroom and the reception of the hospital while waiting. Wondering why none if the other pregnant women were acting like I was. By now thr contractions were quite painful. When the doctor finally saw me, I was imediately sent to the birthing room.

And apparently, there was no time to fill up the bathtub. So we entered the shower to warm up, and I could finally relax and feel like we had our own private space. The doctor kept asking us to come out of the shower before the baby would pop out, but the midwives assured me that I could do as I felt best, and ignore the man. The water felt amazing, and this is when I started ti feel the urge to push. The pushing made the contractions seem less painful, and spaced further apart. I started to enjoy the experience.

My beautiful partner was right there with me, giving me full support and assuring me with his presence. (We didn't manage the have the homebirth we had wished for because of my blood pressure changing constantly. It was hard to see that dream wash away, but in return, we had the most beautiful "home birth in hospital" as in, we had the people we wanted and trusted around us, and ignored the rest ).

We got out of the shower when I felt ready, and I naturally crouched on the floor in a squatting position for a while, relaxing on Dharmen in between contractions, and then on all fours. My beautiful doula @partosemhora and midwives @julianaribeiro79 and @marielenformentao were always there with silent but steady support. Just as I had expressed that I wanted. The contractions got further and further apart, and I could really breathe in between. The mind came in with ideas of the slowed progress as being something negative, but they assured me it was a natural stage of advanced birth. And as I pushed, I started to feel the infamous ring of fire. And I started to feel for our baby's head, and as I felt him with my fingertips, a shudder of relief flushed my body and i felt so much joy, knowing that we would meet soon. Tati's(doula) scarf was also of much help as I could pull it during my contractions, and relieve some tension, feeling the endless strength within.

And when I thought I had no more strength, somehow, we broke the threshold and out he came, I felt as if I had broken open, and then it all disappeared, as our baby was in my arms and he took his first breath. A beautiful loud cry followed shortly, as his lungs were filled with air for the first time. I was laughing histerically, and I felt Dharmens's sobs on my neck. The ecstasy is beyond words, the athmosphere is tangible, thick with the energy of

life and vitality.

When Tao looeds up at us, in wonder, with big open eyes, I knew that nothing in my life would ever come close to this moment - complete and utter perfection.

We moved up into the bed and they ask me not to look down. Well guess what? then I HAD to sneak a peek, and it was a bloody mess and oh so beautiful. We sat down and waited for the placenta to be born. Wanting to keep him attached as long as they would let us. Yes, we finally knew that our baby was a Boy, and we wallowed in the post partum glow for an hour before we had to cut the cord. The placenta was magnificent, huge and the cord was thick and healthy. Just like our boy.

Tao arrived into this world weighing 3425g and measuring 49,5cm. I couldn't believe he had been inside of me this whole time. The reality had still not dawned on me.. The first hour passed way to quickly, Dharmen cut the cord, I was cleaned as Tao was measured and weighed. I was milked like any regular dairy cow to see if there was any colostrum. Luckily, there was no problem on that front!

I am just so immensly grateful to the lovely supporting fairies @equipehanami, rooted and strong doula @partosemhora, fly in the wall in perfect syncronicity @iluminarpartos photographer and my beloved other half @elmayote, I am so glad that you were such a huge part of this experience. Grateful for my body, so perfect and strong, creating an everyday miracle we easily take for granted. And to Tao, my one and only ❤

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